My Mexican Name Is… |
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Don Elbanco (Does this mean I’m ‘money’?) 😉 |
Me
TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1.. My wife and I divorced over religious differences.
She thought she was God and I didn’t.
2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning
medicine.
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18.. Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23.. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs?A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment
for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don’t know what the heck is going on.
Life is too short and friends are too few .
We Is Friends
Soccer, Soccer and more Soccer….
Tonight I’m heading down towards Philly to play a game with Dawn’s coed team. It’s the first time we every played on a team together. Should be fun. 😉
The game is at 7, then I have game in Lancaster at 10. It’s going to be a busy night…
Tonight will complete full week of playing everyday! Ok, last Friday I didn’t play soccer, but I did run 3 miles. That counts right? You’d think I’d be in good shape…. 🙁
“When friends stop being frank and useful to each other, the whole world loses some of its radiance.”
– Anatole Broyard