Friends

‘True’ Friendship Enough of that Sissy Crap!

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems That always sound good, But never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises That actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy Little smiley faces on this card – Just the stone cold truth.

1. When you are sad — I will Help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will Try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will Know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will Tell you horrible stories about How much worse it could be, Until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will Use little words.
7. When you are sick — I will Tell you to stay the hell away from me Until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall – I will Point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath…. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask. ‘Because you’re my friend!’